Bismillah…
Alhamdulillah…I just turned a year closer to my mid-30s yesterday. It’s a surreal feeling to live up to this age. It came to a realisation when I was strolling and sitting at a bench by the sea at the Park Connector Network (PCN) near the gym I was heading to, after being sick for a week.
I learnt to appreciate the little things in life. My health, my time, my love and care for myself and others and my life journey.
Looking back a decade ago, my then mentor, asked me to list down my life plan and financial goals. I was fresh out of polytechnic and I started out being a wealth manager and then a personal banker, with no networks. It was tough to start from scratch. Not only that, I lost the bulk majority of my friends because I was an insurance agent (there’s this particular stigma about this career which I learned to accept over time) trying to reach out to them and share about my work. I’m grateful to my mentor for suggesting that I start out sharing my knowledge on a blog, because then, there’s a hype on blog posting and I am still fairly new to the world about marketing. I didn’t realise that the Marketing module I learnt back in Polytechnic, I get to apply in my work.
Imagine a 23 year old, juggling learning to do sales, learning to do marketing, learning about leading life, always feeling inadequate in terms of life experiences. I took it in my stride to make efforts in all aspects of life, mind you I was only 3 years in my hijab journey too and embracing Islam wholly.
Life was a blur during my early years in the workforce. I remember my papa saying that he rarely sees me at home, because I was busy running sales with back to back appointments almost daily, getting home late, going for roadshows and events, and he reminded me that some day when I am married, I will end up in the kitchen cooking meals for my family and taking care of my kids, no matter how high my level of education or my position in a company (feeling the ouch then…but there’s a good intention in it. I believe he meant well, for my own good.). There were times my young body took a toll and fell sick every month, coupled with missing my periods for as long as 6 months. I wasn’t aware that these were signs of high level of stress. I only got to know after I left the banking industry/financial advisory industry and pursuing my degree, where I kept facing abdominal pains, only to figure that I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) in 2017 and later recovered in 2020.
During my university days I took time to change my lifestyle from my diet to my exercise and learning to manage my stress. Learnt that self-care is important and also I try to avoid unnecessary stress or workload and do things within my best capability. While still involve in educating the community on financial literacy via my blog, public speaking, seminars with my All About Money (AAM) Team, radio and newspaper interviews.
Why the drastic change? My gynae back then told me that PCOS leads to infertility, unable to bear children in future and it can lead to Ovarian Cancer (if I keep depending on the hormone pills to induce menses) and high possibility of being diabetic especially it being hereditary. Boy…honestly, it felt like my whole world was crumbling down. It wasn’t a good feeling and I definitely spiraled downwards. I remember sharing with my close girlfriends, and I am grateful to have loving close friends who care for me and support me (you know who you are). Having PCOS makes me feel less of a woman I am back then, and I know I wasn’t confident in my past relations when getting to know another gender, I will disclaimer and mention that I have such conditions and it came to a point in life right after uni that I sort of gave up about love and marriage at age 27 with no suitor in sight (and constant pressure from surrounding to faster get married and have kids. Not a nice feeling.).
I took time in my 20s all these while to change myself to be a better woman in every aspects of life: religion, education, financially, fashion (dressing appropriately as a Muslim lady, because I used to dress up tomboyish back in my younger days), connections, work and life experiences. #glowup #missindependent #killingit
I never regret what I did back then. There’s always a turning point in life, which routes you to be better. Till my next blogpost, I bid my farewell for now, as I need to prepare for the week hectic schedule. May Allah ease my affairs and grant me good health as I am still recovering from my flu, cough and sorethroat. Aamiin!
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